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Just Me and Pauly Shore
So…have I ever told you what I do for a living? I work for the Special Forces Covert Ops. True story. Why else would I agree to take the U.S. Army’s Physical Fitness Test? Only because it’s a...
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There’s No Crying in Baseball!
Remember how I told you about my Physical Fitness Test? And how I can’t even do 1 lousy pushup? I enlisted some help. A trainer. Someone to remind me that… Exercising is more than dance aerobics and...
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I Need a Magic Feather
Me: You’re supposed to be training me for my physical fitness test. Kiefer: Fine. Get down and give me 20! Me: Excuse me? Kiefer: Please? Let me see your pushup technique. Me: My technique is that I...
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I Failed the Army Physical Fitness Test
Dear Pushups, You suck. Why do you have to be so difficult? For about 5 weeks, I’ve been practicing, conditioning, and gearing up for the Army’s Physical Fitness Test. (I even exercised on my cruise!)...
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Are You Army Fit?
Why did I take the Army’s PT Test? For a free lunch. Several readers suspect the truth about my occupation: I’m not really in the Special Forces Covert Ops. I’m not even in the Army. The Colonel where...
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Write a Letter of Appreciation Week
Dear Medics, In the past, I’ve posted about the Soldiers who lost their lives in Iraq and Afghanistan, but today I’d like to thank you, the medics. Awhile back I attended a Special Operations medical...
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Where the Soup of the Day is Tequila
I know I didn’t post last week, but I have a really good reason. Just give me second…. Oh! The ear Esme attacked got infected. They had to amputate it. And now I’m destined to spend the rest of my life...
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How To Buy a Swimsuit…Or Get Felt Up
Every time I travel I forget something. 99% of the time it’s my hairbrush. But on my Fort Lauderdale trip, I forgot a swimsuit. So there I was…at the beach…without a swimsuit. Fail. So I decided to buy...
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Kill All the Trees!
A few months ago, I switched jobs. Same Special Ops location, different office, different coworkers. One of my new coworkers is extremely…environmentally friendly. Which is fine. I like the...
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I Locked Cupcakes in the Car and Didn’t Crack the Window
Cupcake Dangler: Where are the cupcakes you told me you baked? Me: In my car. For safekeeping. With my keys.
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